Loss, Tragedy & Triumph 01/2008

Loss is a huge part of living. Without loss we do not really live. Loss ensures that we learn, adjust, grow, and give. Loss ensures that we are drawn to the living, loving God. Loss and pain ensures we identify with the man of sorrows, Jesus. Our loss, our pain, and our tragedy encourages us to check ourselves, evaluate our priorities, and ultimately use that loss to encourage others.

I recently watched a religious channel, PTL. This program featured guests who had experienced loss in their lives. Many of the guests had triumphed over their losses and tragedies and were living examples of victory.

As I watched and listened to each speaker, I was awash with a variety of emotions. First, it was awe, then inspiration, then shame as I will explain later. Ultimately I was overwhelmed with tears at the horrible suffering of these dear people. However, I also shed tears of joy when they shared how they were able and are continuing to share with others to encourage them in the tragedies of life they face.

For example, the first guest I saw when I tuned in was my mentor, Joni Eareckson Tada. Joni has been a quadriplegic since a diving accident as a teen. She is now in her early 60's and a very beautiful woman. No use of any of her limbs at all. Through physical therapy she is able to move her arms for expression when speaking. As some of you may know she learned to write and draw and paint with a pen and paintbrush held in her mouth. She has written several books, speaks, and has a ministry, Joni & Friends. She also has a worldwide outreach to disabled people. She is a living, breathing human being who suffered so much. Not only has she been in a wheelchair since her teen years, she suffered so much pain and surgeries through her life. As the reality sank in that she would never be normal again, she drifted into despair. However, coming to know God changed everything about her life.

Next a young beautiful woman, Jennifer Rothschild, who became blind at age 15. She is now married and has children. But she has never seen the face of her husband or precious children. Her testimony is similar to Joni's. She is gracious and full of the love of God.

Now the TV screen shows a handsome young man from Australia with a wonderful smile. He has no legs or arms. He ministers all around the world and is able to go into countries where most Christians are not allowed. Because of his testimony, thousands of people have come to know Christ.

I could continue but the tears are flowing, not out of sorrow for these dear, precious ones but because of my shame. If you know me, then you know I had cancer at the tender age of 25 and lost my natural voice as a result. I breathe through my neck and speak with esophageal voice. To meet me, look at me, you would never know. Only when I speak you may notice I sound a bit unique, a raspy type of voice. But this tragedy in my life did indeed change me.

However, the shame I spoke of earlier stems from my loss not always bring triumph or encouragement to others. There are days, even weeks, where I sink into self pity, self doubt, feelings of inadequacies and hopelessness. I wonder when they day will come that God will perform that one miracle that would be so easy for Him and mean the world to me. But it has not come. I see these others who have suffered so much more compared to me and I am ashamed. Yet, I am encouraged and inspired that perhaps I too, could rise to the calling to be an encouragement and inspiration to those around me. A stranger at the store, a neighbor, a patron at the gym, anyone who is crying out in their own hurt and loss who needs a smile, a word to say, God Loves You, you are special and uniquel you have a purpose in your life. Such a high calling that God has given you to allow you to have such a loss is the way in which He chooses to bring about that purpose.

I am not a theologian, but I do know without a doubt that growth, character, and maturity does not come cheap; it is very costly. Although, too I cannot explain the mysteries of God nor can I answer all the questions you may have but I can say that God uses these experiences to make us usable.

Do we give our children sugar, chocolate, cola, cake and expect them to be healthy and have good teeth? No, we give them vegetables, meat, salads, milk, water; all the good things of the earth to ensure their growth. Likewise, God does not give us a life without pain or sorrow, because if we lived that way, we would not grow. We would remain babies looking for the sweets. And we would be spoiled with decaying teeth, and absolutely useless to His kingdom.

Tragedy and loss does not always mean the loss of a body part. It could be a loss of someone you love deeply. A loss such as your job or home or even your reputation. A loss of divorce or friendship. Whatever you lose, you are on your way to drawing nearer to God because He is drawing near to you. Scripture says that God hears the cries of those with a contrite and broken spirit.

Be of good courage, for in Psalm 145:14, God says that the Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. And do you not see that is how and why these precious people with loss and tragedy I mentioned are able to walk in triumph. Not only for themselves but for all those they touch.

As for me, there were several years I gave talks to groups and shared my testimony with so many. I was so happy God used such a small person as myself to share with others. I hope that one day soon, I can step back into that calling.

01/2008